Dear Whoever – Read Some Self-Help Here.


It’s Self-Help, J-Ro style.

Fuck kale. Fuck Fitspo. Fuck falsehood. Fuck Snapchat glam-shots. Everything ‘outside’ is fake. Enjoy it, but don’t believe any of it for a second. Dip your toe in and out, go for a full-on swim, but don’t let yourself drown in it.

Looking At The Outside With Inside Eyes is The Worst.

Every human being is a one-person PR company. Everything you see is what someone wants you to see. You’re guilty of it too, and so am I. Nothing wrong with it, some shit is done just to keep your life and sanity on an even keel.

You’re looking at everyone else’s outside with the eyes of your real inside, and they’re doing the same. So just mind your own brain, and remember not everything is about you. Apart from your own shit, obviously.

FUCK THE PATRIARCHY. Fuck anyone who thinks it doesn’t exist in 2017. Fuck any man who thinks it’s okay to put an uninvited hand on a woman as a come-on because he lacks the verbal and social skills required to be a gentleman and approach her in a civilised manner.

KEEP FIGHTING TO REPEAL THE 8TH. Fuck anyone who thinks they know better than a woman who has a difficult decision to make about an issue going on within her own body. Fuck any government who thinks it has the right to legislate on a woman’s anatomy based on fear and religious bias – a religion, I might add, that believes God impregnated a woman without her consent and forced her to carry the child to term and give birth in a fucking stable in Winter. So, y’know, fuck that too.

Hug your people more. Create more. Engage in civil disobedience. March in protest for something you believe in. March with all your fellow women to Repeal The 8th. Don’t engage in any argument with anti-choicers; they’re vicious little scumbuckets who’d put pagers and electric fences around our fallopian tubes if they could. They live small uninspiring lives full of fear and darkness, spending their energy attacking those who have the cheek to believe in the ability of a woman to know what’s best for her body, her mind and her soul. Fuck anyone who thinks abortion is something taken lightly by those who march and fight for choice. All that means is they don’t read enough or speak to people enough.

Try and be honest every now and again on social media. I’m not saying share every tiny little thing that happens in your life, exposing your vulnerable underbelly for every human with a pair of working eyes and a phone to ogle and judge – fuck that. People have to earn access to your intimacy. I’m just saying don’t jump on every bandwagon. You’ll be surprised how much more ‘inspiring’ it can be than posting some swirly writing against a sunset background that’s probably only aimed at one specific person anyway. And on that note…

STOP POSTING PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SHIT AS THINLY DISGUISED GENERIC ‘INSPO’ QUOTES ABOUT TRUE FRIENDSHIP / REAL MEN / WHAT A STRONG CRAZY BITCH YOU ARE ETC. That shit is less self-help, and more self-hindrance. Who are you trying to convince? It’s too addictive, far too passive-aggressive, and easy – but easy isn’t always best. Just get on with your own shit. Do your own time. The best revenge, if that’s what you want, is to live well. You can keep telling yourself until the cows come home that you’re happy to let Karma take care of whoever fucked you over, but what you’ll have to face is the fact that you may never witness it, or it may never happen. Some people just get away with shit. Closure doesn’t come from outside. Unfortunately. Let it go. You know THEY already have.

Thi si sno ordinary self-help crap. I write this rant directly to myself as much as for anyone else who might want to take it in. Every now and again I have to be my own Drill Sergeant and ram home some unsavoury facts. It’s good to rip the Band-Aid off and let the air at the wounds. I work on the premise that if I see stuff posted online that annoys the shit out of me, it’s probably something I don’t like about myself that I’m as guilty of. (Thank you to years of therapy and reading decent personal development articles for that.)

Anyway. I’m finished now. Let’s run into 2017 all angry and motivated to change n’ shit. If I can apply most of the productive elements of this so-called self-help rant to the next 12 months, I’ll be doing well.

Love to all my friends and family, and keep each other safe and valued, and once again…


About JayRow

Singer, songwriter, student radio broadcaster, teacher, commitment-phobe, depressive, loudmouth, Facebook obsessive, blogging addict, celebrity hassler, professional stalker, pipe dreamer, ambitious young thing!
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