I know I’m not alone in this…

So in order to maintain the delicate and precarious balance in my universe (and thus my mental stability), there are certain rules various objects and situations need to adhere to. Otherwise my world will end. No exaggeration. My mind will dwell on these incidents and infractions like a kid with a scabby knee, and dig a hole in my psyche so big that my brain will collapse into a white frothy mess. I will be reduced to nothing more than that gunk you see at the bottom of your cappuccino cup, only less tasty.

Rule: Open packets the right way up.

Every time I see a packet of crisps opened upside down, an angel dies. For real. Anyone who’s anyone knows that the food tastes different if you open a packet the wrong way, there’s a system people!! God made arrows point certain ways for a reason…

The packets are all stored right way up, so you get a certain layering to the crisps in accordance with size and taste. You get your average ‘starter’ crisps on top, normally flavoured, nothing out of the ordinary there. As you work your way down the bag, paying your crispy dues, you are rewarded with the smaller more flavoursome ones. Then and only then do you reach the pinnacle: the dust. The bestest bit  by far.

See? Why would you mess up your crispy feng shui by indulging in such anarchistic behaviour??

About JayRow

Singer, songwriter, student radio broadcaster, teacher, commitment-phobe, depressive, loudmouth, Facebook obsessive, blogging addict, celebrity hassler, professional stalker, pipe dreamer, ambitious young thing!
Bookmark the permalink.

One Comment

  1. There’s nothing I enjoy more than surgically operating on a bag of cheese and onion tayto, making a delicate incision down the side of the bag. Spilling the starchy wisps from the it like a samurai committing sepuku.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.