An Open Letter…To A Lovely Cup Of Tea.

tea brekkie

Dear Tea,

In amidst all the shitty shit and the mucky muck that makes up this cruel world, I figured I’d go back to the simple things in life and feel happy once more. You are one of those things.

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The Valentine’s Day Rhyme Massacre

photo (2)

(I)

Roses are red

My tampon is too

Guess I got my period

So no sex for you.

(II)

Roses are red

Do violets come next?

I’m not really romantic

So I’ll just send you a sext.

(III)

Roses are corny
Violets are naff
So c’mere and I’ll ride you
All over the gaff.

(IV)

Roses are red

So are my nethers

We’ve caught something nasty

Let’s get checked together!

(v)

Roses are liquid

Time is made of jelly

I love Surrealism

Microwave.

(VI)

Roses are red

You turned me own flat

But I stole some of your hair

So I’ll just clone you from that.