Ask J-Ro: Naughty Narcotics

What drugs should I take when I’m interrailing around Europe this summer? My boyf says yokes are good and they seem fairly safe bit he’s done coke and a lot of other stuff too.

20150317-185229.jpg

DUUUUUUDE! Interrailing? Europe? Drugs?? You guys are a Hostel sequel waiting to happen. I couldn’t have that kind of thing on my conscience. These are the days of the internet – the Mammy brigade would have my guts for garters on their very own “Lock Up J-Ro” page. If you want to come back from Europe in one piece I suggest you get your story straight with The Good Lord before you leave, because only the fun-loving carefree experimental young people get massacred to shit in those torture-porn box sets. Bring a Bible, only drink water and Barry’s tea, and catch a mass once a week to ensure survival.

But seriously, folks. I’m a non-drug taker myself, thus I have very little experience first-hand with them. So my first instinct is to tell you stay the hell away from them, just as a personal safety measure, particularly if you’re heading out to strange parts.

However, having chatted with mates who dabble recreationally, the general consensus is if you’re hell-bent on trying some stuff; be very careful and super-aware of the workings of your own body & mind – drugs hit everyone in different ways. It’s down to your own tolerance and brain chemistry. Personally, if I even got a sniff of an A-Class drug I’d end up coming around in a daze in a corner of a cell, wild-eyed with half my clothes missing, clutching onto a bloodied scalp and singing “Sesame Street” to a face I’d drawn on the wall. But that’s just me.

Whatever you choose to do, CHECK THE LAWS in every country you visit, just to be aware of the differences in penalties lest you get caught. I’ve heard things about Greek prisons that I can never repeat here.

For ACTUAL, honest, far more informed advice on the drugs themselves; Talk To Frank is a great site to visit. Hop over there for a look. And tell that experimental boyfriend of yours to take it handy and MIND YOU, whatever else he does. It’s not going to be much fun if you’re playing nursemaid in the middle of Zagreb while he’s tripping balls.

Now that I’ve lectured the arse off you, have a ball! If you’re the writing type; try and document as much as you can on your trip – there’ll be so much mad stuff going on and people to meet that you’ll only believe it happened if you go back and read it. TRUST ME.

Bon Voyage!

Ask J-Ro: A Nuptial No-No

I am head over heels about this guy and he is mad about me too, but he’s married!! What do I do, am I mad to pursue it?

20150315-174312.jpg
pic by Ken Coleman

You’re not mad, but you will be very, very unhappy. No good will come of this. But you’re smart, you don’t need anyone to tell you it’s not a good idea to hook up with a married man. So let’s step away from the moral quandary for a minute and look at the practical aspects.

Brutal truth: If he was as mad about you as he says, he would not be with his wife. Or at the very least he would be a stand-up man and not let anything happen with you until he has been honest with his wife (and kids if he has any) and started making arrangements to separate and sort out places to live, financial arrangements, custody agreements if needed, and a million other heartbreaking world-shattering things he would have to do out of respect for everybody involved, including you. Is he willing to do that? Because that’s what it would take for you guys as a couple to have any kind of chance out in the open.

Next thing you need to ask yourself: Is his time more valuable than yours? Because if you guys DO go down the road of getting involved while he’s still married, then the answer to that question is going to be yes, unfortunately. You’re the one who’ll be second fiddle to everything organised, lest his plans are uncovered and you both get found out. Fuck that. You’re NOBODY’S lesser priority.

Ultimately you want someone in your life with integrity, and who puts you first. You’re not just a distraction for a man looking to alleviate some boredom in a marriage that, let’s face it, could be getting a lot more attention on his part and thus be far more rewarding.

Nothing wrong with thinking a married friend is hot, and there may even be a bit of chemistry, but write it off as human & evolutionary responses and look forward to the real thing that isn’t hindered by life-long vows of faithfulness to someone else 🙂

PS: If they did it WITH you, they’ll do it TO you. You’ll never have a moment’s peace or trust ever again. Not worth it really is it?

Lastly; what would you tell a friend who came to you with this?

BEST OF LUCK! <3

Ask J-Ro: When To Quit

Hi Jen! I was just wondering is there a limit to how many times one can ask the same boy out and get rejected each time? I have asked the same boy for caffeine or alcohol based beverages three times and each time he has essentially declined. From a fellow height challenged beour. XXX

20150315-164449.jpg
pic by Ken Coleman

Hello Fellow Petite! This one hits fairly close to home, so this advice is as much for me as it is for you, so we’re in this together. I’m going to be brutally honest here – stop in the name of sanity. Once was enough. I speak as someone who has been there, done that, and ruined the friendship. You’re verging into self-harm territory if you go back there again.

If you think he’s giving you signals that he wants more, he’s more than likely just enjoying the flirty banter with someone safe; and who is safer to flirt with than somebody who has asked you out? Doesn’t mean it’s right though, but it does happen. Ego is a bit of a bastard really.

On the plus side, after three times getting flat-out rejected, you now know there is nothing you can possibly do to make him like you that way. So let that lighten the load. He’s just a guy. A nice guy, I’m sure…but just a guy. You got on in the world fabulously before you ever knew he existed, and you’ll live a fantastic life from now on after knowing him too.

Make some headspace for someone to try asking YOU out. You’ve done your bit for forward-thinking women and equality in the dating world by now. Let the fellas shit themselves for once. The ones who DO fancy you will get shit done!

Best of Luck! I’m off to get this entire message tattooed on my own forehead… 🙂